Songbook
by breakwayfearles
Summary: A collection of Mellitz one shots based on music lyrics.
1. Nothing Really Matters

**01 | Nothing Really Matters**

Fitz was sitting in the armchair of their one bedroom apartment with a book in his hands. He kept reading the same line over and over again because although he had an exam the very next day his attention kept being stolen by the woman laying on his bed - wearing nothing but his shirt and her underwear. Mellie was too distracted by her own reading to notice him starring at her. He couldn't help but smile when his eyes met her. She was the sunshine in his life, the only person who has ever truly believed in him. The only one who has never let him down. Just the mere thought of her in his mind would make him smile and whenever and wherever he was with her the whole world would disappear.

_I see her face  
__And in my mind  
__I seize the day  
__Whenever she's nearby  
__It's like nothing really matters  
__Nothing really matters_

Fitz closed the book. It didn't matter how hard he tried to focus his mind kept wandering to the woman in this bed. He couldn't believe how beautiful she was. How effortless beautiful she really was. He loved the blue in her eyes. And how bright they shine every time she'd look at him. He loved her laugh and how loud it was. He loved how she could how he felt just by looking at him. Even though sometimes he hated how easy she could read him. He hated the story of how they really met. He hated with all his gut. She deserved more than that meeting at a bar. She deserved more than being just a deal to his father. But one thing he couldn't deny - she was the best thing his strange father had brought to his life. She was all the he needed.

_She completes me  
__How she reads me  
__Right or wrong  
__It's so clear she  
__All that I need  
__All I need_

He loved the dimple in her chin. He loved the serious look in her eyes and how she'd bite her finger when she was trying to focus on something. He loved how she'd make him feel alive. If someone would ever ask how much she meant to him, he would dare to say he didn't need air cause she was all he needed to live. She was the light, his light - the only thing that had ever made him feel alive. She was his guiding star.

_I know what it feels like  
__Swimming through the stars when I see her  
__And I don't need air cause I breathe her  
__When I'm lost  
__And need a sign  
__She leads the way  
__And I'll be fine_

Fitz let the book fall against the floor as he got up from the armchair. He climbed into bed and kissed her leg. She kicked her leg as a way to try him to stop.

"Stop! We have an exam tomorrow!" she said between giggles.

"Like you need to study" Fitz took the book from her hands and threw it somewhere in the room before kissing her lightly on the lips.

"But I do!" she tried to escape from his embrace in order to get the book he had thrown.

"You're top of the class, Mels" he pinned her against the mattress "Besides I have more interesting things in mind" he was going to kiss her when he suddenly stopped. He kept his eyes on her and a smile on his face.

"What is it?"

"You are just so beautiful" he caressed her face as she looked away while her cheeks turned red. He made her look at him again. "Don't be shy" he laughed "You are."

"Thank you" she mumbled

"You're the only good thing my father has ever brought into my life" he pressed his forehead against her as she wrapped her arms around his torso. "You complete me, Mels" he whispered against her lips.

"I love you" those were the only words that crossed her mind. The only thing she could think of saying. She unwrapped her arms from his torso and wrapped them around his neck before kissing him with all the passion and the fire she had inside.

It didn't take long for his hands to find the hem of her shirt. It didn't take long for her moans to leave her lips. For his touch to burn her skin and for her body to shiver beneath him. But what mattered the most to him was that if she was ok then he was alright. She was all that mattered to him when nothing really mattered.

_Well she's OK  
__And I'm all right  
__When she's awake  
__I'm up all night  
__Nothing really matters_

* * *

Based on _Nothing Really Matters_ by


	2. Just A Dream

**02 | Just A Dream**

Mellie had gotten used to the idea of living the life of a military wife. They were barely eighteen when they were married. And it didn't take long for him to leave for overseas. That was the life she'd have to live, she'd married a Navy man after all. But knowing who she had married didn't make the ache in her heart go away. Knowing who she'd married didn't make the fear disappear. No, it didn't make it go away. She'd always feared that one day she'd open the door to find a man in a uniform with a letter in his hands.

"Do you really have to go?" Mellie tried to keep busy her hands busy by adjusting his collar. She tried to remain strong but the weakness in her voice showed her fear.

"It's time, baby" Fitz held her close to his body afraid that this would be the last time he'd hold her in his arms. Afraid that this would be the very last time he'd feel her body against his. A fear he wouldn't admit to her, afraid that she'd get even more scared.

"But you just got back yesterday" She buried her face against his chest as she took a deep breathe to inhale his scent. She wanted to remember his scent, for fear she'd never smell him again, that he'd be lost to her forever

"I know. Times flies when I'm with you" He kissed the top of her head. And he could feel her smile against his chest.

She kissed his chest before looking up to meet his gaze "Fitz" she called out his name in a whisper.

"Yes" he wrapped his arms around her a little tighter.

"Don't die on me. I can't live without you"

He looked into her eyes searching for words to say but nothing came to his mouth. He didn't want to tell her promises he didn't know he could keep. He didn't want to break her heart more than it could already possibly break if her fears ever turned out to be real.

"Mels…"

"I know… " She looked down to the ground knowing that this was a promise that didn't lay on his hands.

"Melody" She looked up at the sound of her name "I love you. No matter what happens never forget that."

"I love you too. Don't you ever forget that" She kept her eyes on him.

He wanted to remain like this, with her in his arms, until in the end of time. He wanted to hold her until forever ended. But he had to go. He had to let go of her waist. He had to let her go.

"It's time" he whispered.

"Be safe" she whispered.

He took her face with both his hands as he memorized every inch of her face "I love you" he knew she knew how much he loved her but he wanted those to be his last words she'd hear from him. He leaned in and captured her lips for a kiss, filled with love, passion and mostly the promise of a comeback. She didn't want this to end but she knew he'd have to go. They broke apart and he cleaned the tears on her face with his thumb before wrapping his arms around her for a tight hug. She closed her eyes as her tears fell against his uniform coat.

"I can't live without you" he whispered against her ear before he unwillingly let go of her.

Two months passed since his ship left and Mellie was counting down the days until he was back on solid ground and in her arms. She'd kept all his letters and placed them in a shoe box. Every day she'd put on his Navy sweater and read the last letter he sent. "_I love you no matter what" _that was how he'd always ended his letter by telling her how much he loved her. There were many the nights that she'd sleep with his Navy sweater on. She never washed it as a way to keep his scent and his presence every time he was away. And for a moment her fears would disappear. She had gone back to college as a way to keep her mind busy. He'd always told her of how a great lawyer she'd be. _You could be president _he told her one day. But not even her college assignments would stop her fears from creeping in. She was sitting in the couch of her living room with a book in her hands studying for her next exam when there was a knock on the door.

"Just a minute" she screamed as she marked where she was before closing the book. She took a sip of her now cold coffee before getting up.

"Who is it?" she asked before looking into the peep hole.

"M'am"

As soon as she saw the man on her front porch her heart fall against the floor and she felt her entire body start to shake. She opened up the door without asking any more questions. Her hands were trembling as tears poured down her face. Her scariest feared turned out to be true - man in a uniform standing on her door with a letter in his hands.

"I'm so sorry, m'am" said the man in uniform as he gave her the letter.

Mellie could barely hold it. She didn't need to read it to know what it said. The letter slipped through her fingers as her legs got weak and her body fall against the floor. She let her tears fall with no second thought. She kept on screaming _no_ not wanting to believe in the words written on the letter she hadn't read.

"No! Not Fitz!" she screamed as tears streamed down her face. Her screams got louder by the minute as reality consumed her. Her Fitzgerald was gone. Dead in combat. Her worst nightmare was now a reality.

The word had gone around and everyone came to her door to tell her how sorry they were. But there were no words enough to cure the ache in her heart and the wound in her soul. But now it was time to say the last goodbye to the love of her life. The only man who had ever seen her for more than just a southern beauty. The only one who listened to every word she said. But now it was time to say the last goodbye so she put her veil down in an attempt to hide the tears. She had his favorite flowers in her hand but as soon as the trumpets of the military band started to play they fell out of her hand.

_She put her veil down  
__Trying to hide the tears  
__Oh she just couldn't believe it  
__She heard the trumpets from the military band  
__And the flowers fell out of her hand_

Mellie couldn't believe she was all dressed up in black in the same church she walked down the aisle all dressed up in white to marry the man of her dreams. She couldn't help but smile as she remembered him in his dress uniform waiting at the alter with a smile on his face that lit up his eyes. She couldn't help but smile as she remembered how hard he tried to keep his tears at bay. But now he was laying there in that closed coffin and she couldn't help but wonder why did it have to be him, why did he have to leave. Those were questions she'd never have answers to. The only thing she was sure was that she was counting on forever with him and now she'd never have it. The only thing she knew was she that couldn't breathe without him. She was standing there in the front row feeling like she was watching it all from afar, standing in the background watching someone she didn't know being put six feet under. She couldn't believe the scene in front of her. It felt like it was all a terrible nightmare that she wished she could wake up from.

_Baby why'd you leave me  
__Why'd you have to go?  
__I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
__I can't even breathe  
__I__t's like I'm looking from a distance  
__Standing in the background  
__Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now  
__This can't be happening to me  
__This is just a dream_

The preacher asked for everyone to bow their heads and pray for the _Lord to lift his spirit and heal this hurt _before everyone stood up on their feet ready to sing the saddest song she'd ever heard. She closed her eyes knowing what was coming next. The officer walked towards her with a folded flag in his hands and handed it to her. She pressed it against her chest hoping it'd bring some comfort to her aching heart but nothing changed. She let the tears fall down on her face as the guns rang one last shot but it felt like the bullet went straight in her heart.

_The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray  
__Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt  
__Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard  
__Then they handed her a folded up flag  
__And she held on to all she had left of him  
__Oh, and what could have been  
__And then the guns rang one last shot  
__And it felt like a bullet in her heart_

Mellie went home that night wanting to be on her own. She thanked everyone for their kind words and their support. But she was tired of being surrounded by people she just wanted a moment of peace. She closed the door behind her as the last person left her house. She kicked off her heels not really caring where they ended up. She slowly walked up the stairs as she unzipped her dress. She walked into her room and let her dress hit the floor. She left it where it landed. She walked to her dresser and opened the first drawer. She took out his Navy sweater and put it on before letting her body fall against the mattress. She cried herself to sleep as her hands reached for the place he was suppose to be.

* * *

Inspired by_ Just A Dream_ by Carrie Underwood


	3. Come Back To Me

**I keep forgetting to say this but I have to give credit when credit is due. This Fanfiction is proof read by Ms.E1928.**

* * *

**03 | Come Back To Me**

Fitzgerald had been the only boyfriend Melody had ever had during her college years. They might have not been introduced in the most innocent and perfect of ways but she couldn't deny, she liked him since the first time she laid her eyes on him. But she was feeling like she was missing this whole different part of her life. A part that allowed her to be more carefree and wild. She was missing out on adventure and discovering herself. She loved him but she was feeling trapped in a relationship she wasn't sure where it was leading or what his wishes and desires for her really were.

"Fitz?" she called out to him when she entered their small apartment.

"I'm here, honey" he yelled from the kitchen.

"You're making pasta…"

"With ham, pesto, tomato and cream" he said before turning around and giving her a peck on the lips.

She couldn't do this, not now. Not when he was making her favorite comfort food after a long week of exams.

"You wanna talk about something?" he stated as he turned back to the oven.

"Why do you say that?"

"You do this thing with your eyebrow when you have something important to say"

_Gosh, when did I become so easy to read? _Mellie thought to herself. "Nothing… I'm just exhausted. Do I still have time for a bath?" she stated as she wrapped her arms around his torso.

"Dinner is done, baby. What if we take that long hot bubble bath together after dinner?" he asked as he turned around. "Hi" he said as he put his hands on the small end of her back.

"Hi" she replied with a smile.

Fitz couldn't help but feel there was something about her. There was something in her eyes and there was something in her voice. It was trembling like she had something to say. And she was too scared to say it out loud. He knew they hadn't had the best of starts and he hated the way his father, heck, their father's had treated her - like she was some property they could sell or trade - he didn't hate her. Because there was nothing to hate about that southern belle with brown hair and blue eyes. He looked to his side she was peacefully sleeping with no signs of worry in her face. He turned off the light on his bedside table before turning on his side and wrapping his arms around her waist. He kissed her neck before whispering _I love you, Mels. _ There was pain in his voice and the fear of losing her.

Mellie was starting to feel Fitz being different towards her. He was more touchy and talkative. Every day he would say he loved her. He'd be holding her hand every chance he got. His embrace was getting tighter like she would escape from him at any moment. She knew he knew there was something she wanted to tell him. She opened up the door of their small apartment to find him sitting on the couch studying. She stopped in the doorway and memorized his face. She loved him. But she couldn't hold it any longer.

"Fitz" the sound of his name made him take his eyes from the papers in his hand.

"Hi" he had the biggest smile on his face.

"I… we… I… gotta talk" she had to do it or she would never do it.

"Okay." he simply said before putting his papers in floor. "So, talk" he was waiting for her to say something.

"I…." she let her bag fell against the floor "You know I love you, right?" she stated as she sat next to him in the couch.

"And I love you" he replied as he put his hands on top of hers.

"I don't want us to be over" she took a deep breathe "But we're the only ones among our group of friends who are still dating the same person"

"And is that a bad thing?" he was trying to see where the conversation was leading to.

"No…" she tried to find the right words but she too was confused "Just… I can't breathe, Fitz."

"What do you mean you can't breathe?"

"I wanna see the world and meet new people. I wanna travel."

"We can do that together, baby. After we are done, we'll go see the world"

"No, we won't. You'll either give in and start a political career or you'll go back to the Navy. Well… me… I'll go work for some law firm. We'll never leave here. We'll never see the world, Fitz. And… I … I need to see the world. I need to figure out what I really want."

"You wanna do all that but you don't want us to be over? When you're obviously breaking up with me." he stated as he got up from the couch. "Why, Mellie?"

"I don't know why… that's how just… I feel"

"Just how you feel? What about how I feel? Well… I guess my gut feeling was right. You're leaving."

"I'm not leaving!" she stated as she got up from the couch.

"No, you're just going on a trip around the world!" he said before running out of the house leaving her crying in the middle of their apartment.

Fitz went back home in the middle of the night. He had been walking in circles as her words echoed in his mind and he lost track of time. He walked in to find everything dark. There wasn't a single light on. He took off his shoes before walking to the bedroom - their bedroom. She was laying in bed but he could tell she wasn't sleep. He turned on the light and she moved.

"I tried to call you"

"If you're tired of the view from the same window. Or if there's pavement you ain't put your shoes on and dance floors you ain't made a move on yet. If you wanna go see and do something you might regret then go. Because I love you. And I don't you to miss a thing. I don't want to keep you away from any dream you have"

"Fitz…" she was sitting against the headboard of their bed.

"I love you. And God knows how much I do love you. And just how much I want to hold you every night and see your face every morning. But more than that I don't wanna hold you back. It's not perfect. But I can't keep you. I can't hold you down, Mels! I'd hate myself if I did that to you. I want you to be happy. Even if it's not with me. Even if you go see the world and meet someone else. But if you do I just hope he never hurts you."

She never once thought she would hear him say these words to her.

"There will never be anyone else" she whispered as tears started to fall.

"Go see everything you think you need to see, and then, if you want, come back to me" he had tried his best not to cry but he couldn't held it any longer.

_If you fly like a bird in the jet stream,  
__H__ope the sky is in Hollywood-set-scene blue.  
__And if you land with a tan and your shades on  
__Hope the promise the postcard made comes true  
__B__ut if ain't all that you dreamed it'd be...  
__C__ome back to me_

A year passed since the day she left. A year in which she had gone and seen the world. She traveled all through Europe and worked with non-profit organizations in Africa and Asia. She hung out with Koalas in Australia, learned Spanish and Portuguese in South America. And now she was ready to go back home. But mostly, to see his bright blue eyes again. She called no one to let them know she was coming home. She just showed up on her mother's front door like it was regular visit and now she was standing in front of the Grant's mansion with her heart in her throat afraid of what his reaction would be. She rang the bell and nervously waited for someone to open the door.

_I'll get it _she heard his voice coming from inside the house.

Without asking he opened the door and saw her there on this front porch. For a moment he didn't believe what his eyes were seeing. Was it real? Was she real? Or were his eyes tricking him? He stared at her. She hadn't changed - if it was possible she had only became more beautiful.

She didn't know how to read his reaction. And she didn't know what to say but just when she was about to say _hi _he grabbed her by the waist and brought her closer to him. He pressed his forehead against hers before whispering against her lips "You came back"

"I told you there will never be anyone else" she whispered against his lips before he crashed them on hers.

Her lips parted and he took the chance and let his tongue enter her mouth. He missed her. Every little part of her. Her hands were in his hair as he pressed her against his body. He tasted every bit of her and for a moment it felt like she had never left. They only broke apart when they both couldn't breathe. He pressed his forehead against hers while his hands never left her waist.

"You know I love you, right?" he whispered against her smiling lips.

"And I love you"

* * *

Inspired by the song "_Come Back To Me_" as performed by Keith Urban.


	4. Little Toy Guns

**04 | Little Toy Guns**

She was hiding in her closet holding the heart shaped necklace her father had given to her. At six years old Karen Grant had gotten used to the words being thrown between her parents. At six years old she had gotten used to smiling for the cameras, they were a picture perfect family for the entire world to see. Karen put her her hands over her ears as the voices got louder and the words got meaner. Mommy and daddy just wouldn't stop it. Their words were cutting through the walls and she was caught in the crossfire. She heard her parents throwing her name against each other as tears fell down her face without her even noticing. She started to whisper to herself, almost like a prayer, how she wished words were just like the little toy guns her brother and her used to play with in the backyard. She wished the words would hurt like the bangs bangs that rolled off her and Jerry's tongues - innocent and playful words. She wished words didn't hurt like bullets going through flesh. She wished her daddy would stop saying her mommy had only married him for the money and the name. She wished her mommy would stop saying he only stayed because he was too coward to leave. She wished her parents were just like her friends' parents. She wished she could go to school and tell everyone about how daddy had surprised mommy. But she couldn't. She just wished people would see beyond her parents smile and hear past the Governor's words. She just wished her parents would stop screaming.

_In between the coats in the closet  
__She held on to that heart-shaped locket  
__Staring at a family, flawless  
__But it ain't a pretty picture tonight_

_Mom and daddy just won't stop it  
__Fighting at the drop of a faucet  
__Cuts through the walls, catastrophic  
__She's caught in the crossfire  
__Puts her hands over her ears  
__Starts talking through the tears  
__And she's saying, and she's praying_

_I wish words were like little toy guns  
__No sting, no hurting no one  
__Just a bang, bang rolling off your tongue  
__No smoke, no bullets  
__No kick from the trigger when you pull it  
__No pain, no damage done_

"Who are you screwing now?" Mellie's voice could be heard through the entire house.

"I'm seeing no one, Mellie!"

"Really?! So that's why you come home late every damn night?!"

"I'm the Governor, Mellie!"

"OH! Don't fool me, Fitz!"

"I've been literally sleeping with no one!" Mellie could feel the anger in his words. She took a step back as pieces of the reason why she had put herself away flashed into her mind.

"You barely spend any time with your children. You used to help Jerry with his homework. And you used to read a goodnight story to Karen every night." Her voice suddenly got colder and her eyes were cutting through his soul but her tone hadn't gone lower.

"What are you trying to say?"

"You don't have time for anything except your whore"

"I'm not screwing anyone, Mellie! You're the one who keeps on running!"

Just like that she felt like running. Running away from his questions and the answers she didn't want to give.

"You're doing it again!" his voice got louder. "You're running, Mellie! You're running because you already got what you wanted! You already have the kids and now you don't need anything else from me! You already got my name and money. What else do you want?"

"If you wanna leave, then leave!" her voice had gotten louder as she tried to keep her tears at bay.

_Wish there was a white flag waving  
__Or that they were both just faking  
__And it was just a game they were playing  
__Like shoot-'em-up cowboys_

Fitz was about to respond when a little voice made him stop.

"Stop!" Karen screamed as loud as she could as tears were streaming down her face. "Please…"

"Baby…" Fitz tried to speak but nothing came out.

"Daddy don't leave" she said as she ran towards her father.

"I'm not leaving, baby"

"But momma said…"

"I'm not leaving" he said once again as he cleaned the tears on his daughter's face.

Mellie kneeled down next to her daughter and husband "It's late, honey. Why don't I go pour you a glass of milk and read you a story?"

"Okay"

"Say goodnight to daddy"

"Daddy…"

"I'm not leaving, honey" he said before kissing her on the forehead.

"Come here, baby" whispered Mellie as she picked up her daughter "Do you want chocolate?" she asked only getting a nod as a response. "Good. Two chocolate milks coming right up for the Grant ladies"

Fitz watched his wife leaving with his daughter and his heart broke. How bad their fights had turned out to be. How loud their fights had turned to be that their own daughter had to come out to tell them to stop. When he saw the pain in his daughter's eyes that was when he realized that he needed to do anything in his power to save them. He couldn't let them go. He couldn't let Mellie go.

"Mama?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Why did daddy say you had the money and the name?"

Mellie stared at her daughter wondering how much she heard and wishing she was able to read what was happing in her mind.

"Baby" stated Mellie as she gave Karen her chocolate milk "Sometimes when adults get really mad at each other they say things they don't mean. And most of those things are mean"

"Are you mad at daddy?"

"No… maybe a little. But don't worry, baby. No one is leaving"

"You promise?"

"I promise" Mellie kissed the top of her daughter's head "But now it's time for bed."

When Mellie entered her room Fitz was laying in bed. She rolled her eyes at him as he got up.

"Mels"

"What?" she said as she turned around.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry" he said as he walked towards her. "I know you didn't marry me for the name or the money. You never needed it. I know you love me. And doesn't matter how many times you tell me to leave. I won't." he put his hands on her waist "There is no one else. It's just you and me, Mels" he pressed his foreheads against hers "So, stop running. I love you. I won't let you get away."

"Fitz" she mumbled his name as she closed her eyes.

"I'll do anything. Anything. I'll go to therapy if that's what we need." he took his forehead from hers. "I just can't bare to lose you. I don't know how to live without you"

For a moment the thought of telling him the truth crossed her mind. But she wasn't ready and she didn't know if she'd ever be. The only thing she was sure of was that she loved him with all she had.

"I love you, Fitzgerald, don't you ever question that."

He pressed her body against his. Her lips parted as she felt his face getting closer to hers. His kiss was soft at first but soon her arms were around his neck bringing him closer to her as he could possibly be. This was their first real kiss in months. This one was not for show. This one was not for the flashes and the pretty family pictures they were trying to sell. This one was for them. This one was a new beginning. They broke apart. His hands were on her face as he kissed her forehead before she tucked her head beneath his chin. She closed her eyes as she let tears fall against his shirt. For the first time she let herself be free. For the first time in months she let herself feel. He slowly caressed her back feeling her relax with his touch. And the for the first time in months she felt at home in his embrace.

"We will be okay. We will be okay" he whispered against her hair as tears fall down on his face and fear cricked into his heart.

Fitz was holding on to Mellie like this was the last time he'd held in his arms. He was holding her like it was the last breathe you'd have. Because the fear of losing her was becoming a reality as he realized the words they had thrown at each weren't like the little toy guns their children use to play with in the backyard. No, their words come with a kick from the trigger. They hit like bullets with damage beyond control catching their children in the crossfire. Fitz held Mellie a little tighter as the fear of loosing her took control of his body. He kissed the top of her head before making her looking at him in eye.

"We will be okay" Fitz whispered.

"We will be okay" Mellie whispered back.

* * *

Based on_ Little Toy Guns _by Carrie Underwood

P.S: Can we talk about those adorable Mellitz scenes we had in this week's episode?


	5. Under My Skin

I wrote this story as a sequence of the previous chapter. (_However it still makes sense on its own._)

* * *

**05 | Under My Skin**

"You're not ready?" asked Fitz as he entered the living room of the Governor's mansion.

"I'm not ready for what?" stated Mellie as she looked away from the book in her hands. "Why are you dressed so fancy?" she asked when she noticed that her husband was wearing a tuxedo.

"Oh the kids didn't tell you?" Fitz walked towards Mellie as she got up from the couch.

"Fitzgerald, what did you put our children up to?" stated Mellie before wrapping her arms around his torso.

"Go check our room" he said before kissing her lips.

"Fitz…"

"Go" he said before unwrapping his arms from her waist. Mellie gave him a peck on the lips before running to their room. Fitz laughed because of her reaction, she seemed like a child on Christmas morning, as he followed her to their room.

"Oh Fitz…"

"I hope you like the dress" Fitz stood by the door with his hands in his pockets as he stared at his wife. "Karen helped me choose it. She said her mamma looks pretty in red. I couldn't agree more"

Mellie couldn't say a word. The only thing she was able to do was smile. The brightest smile she had given to him in a long time.

"I'll wait for you downstairs"

"How do I look?" her voice made him turn around. When his eyes met hers a shiver ran down his spine and his lips were unable to move. She was a vision in red. He couldn't remember the last time she dressed up just for a night out with him. He couldn't remember the last time they had gone out on a date. Date. He laughed as that thought crossed his mind. That was something they stopped doing after Jerry was born.

"Beautiful" he was finally able to speak.

Mellie walked up to him before putting her hands on his chest "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise" he said before kissing her forehead.

"You're full of mysteries tonight" she said before he took her hand in his.

For the first time in a long time she left that house with a genuine smile on her face.

"Whose house is this?" asked Mellie as she stepped into the old cottage in the middle of nowhere.

"Andrew's"

"I had no idea he had such a lovely place"

"It's an old family house. I think… that's what he told me" stated Fitz as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "We don't have to do anything. I just wanna be with you" he said when he felt her getting tense upon his touch.

"I know" she replied as she pressed her forehead against his "But right now I'm starving!" she said laughing.

Her laugh fulfilled the room and made his eyes shine with the happiness in her voice. He memorized every single detail. From the way she moved when he pulled up the chair for her. To the shine in her eyes when she realized he had them make her favorite Italian food. The best was the contented smile on her face. The kind he hadn't seen in a long time. The kind that still gave him butterflies in his stomach. They were in the middle of their meal when he suddenly got up.

"Forgot something?" she asked but Fitz didn't answer. He put on a record. Mellie's smile just got bigger when Frank Sinatra's voice fulfill the entire house .

"I've got you under my skin." sang Fitz as he walked towards her. He took her hands in his before he spun her around,

_I've got you deep in the heart of me.  
__So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me.  
__I've got you under my skin.  
__I'd tried so not to give in._

"I'd sacrifice anything come what might for the sake of having you near" he whispered against her ear as he held her tighter in his arms. "Baby, we gotta talk"

Mellie took a deep breathe as she stopped dancing. "What's there to talk about?" her voice suddenly got colder.

"Why are your running again?" his hands never left her waist.

"I'm not" she tried to sound convincing but her tone was betraying her.

"You do that thing"

"What thing?"

"Your voice… it's cold"

"I'm not running" she said as she stepped out of his embrace.

"I'm trying, Mellie! But I can't fix us if you don't let me!"

"I'm okay, Fitz!"

"No, you're not! You don't let me touch you!"

"So, this is all about sex after all?!"

"And when my dad is in the room you just leave! You used to adore that man! I never understood why but you did!" continued Fitz ignoring her comment.

"It's more like he adores me a little too much…"

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"I thought tonight was about us! But you had to destroy it, didn't you?"

"Stop running!" screamed Fitz making her jump.

Mellie started walking towards the door "What's that suppose to mean?" he grabbed her wrist making her stop.

"Exactly what I said" stated Mellie as she turned around to face him. When her eyes met his he could swear he saw fear in them. Something he had never seen in his wife's eyes before. But there it was. Fear. At the mention of his father's name - she was scared of him.

"What has my father done to you?"

"He liked me a little too much…"

Her words were simple. But held so much truth. He could feel her shaking beneath his touch.

"When …?" he let go of her wrist. He didn't need to ask anything else, he already knew what his father had done to his wife.

"When you were deciding if you'd run or not… we were talking about you… and drinking… and… he put a hand on my knee… I fought him… but I just couldn't … he was too strong…" tears started falling down on her face without her even noticing it.

Fitz started pacing as her words echoed in his mind. For more than he hated his own father he just couldn't believe that he'd be able to do such a thing. He needed to clear his head. He needed to think. He needed to let all the words sink in. He left the house leaving behind his wife crying on the floor. He walked around in circles for how long he didn't know. All he knew now was there was a reason for her strange behavior. And that reason was his father. The only thing he was sure of was that he was going to take care of it even if it meant loosing the Governor's mansion. But loosing it was the least of his problems, he had already lost too many good years by his wife's side. He couldn't bare to loose her at all.

When Fitz walked back in the house Mellie was laying down in bed. He took off his shoes before laying down next to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist as he kissed her shoulder.

"Jerry… he…" she turned around to face him "He's yours"

"I don't care" he stated before kissing the top of her head "I've got you under my skin"

_I would sacrifice anything come what might  
__For the sake of havin' you near_

* * *

Inspired by I've_ Got You Under My Skin_ by Frank Sinatra.


	6. The Heart Wants What It Wants

**06 | The Heart Wants What It Wants**

Every since she first laid eyes on him she felt herself getting lost in his eyes. And what at first seemed like a swim in a paradise with him by her side was now a feeling of drowning in the middle of the ocean with no one to rescue her. Because back in time he used to not only be her lover, he used to be her partner too. He used to hold her hand through it all even when they were betting against all the odds. But now he didn't even feel like her partner at all. He was no longer the man she had fallen in love for. And he was no longer the partner he promised her he'd be.

_You got me sippin' on something  
__I can't compare to nothing  
__I've ever known, I'm hoping  
__That after this fever I'll survive  
__I know I'm acting a bit crazy  
__Strung out, a little bit hazy  
__Hand over heart, I'm praying  
__That I'm gonna make it out alive_

She knew where he was.

She knew in whose bed he was sleeping in every night.

But she couldn't let him go.

She knew the flames were burning high and when the fire would start spreading she'd be the one burning down. Because the fault was always on the woman never on the man. She caressed the side of the bed where he was suppose to be. The coldness of the sheets were a reflection of her own heart without him. Why she was still waiting for him to come back to her with hopes and promises of love forever she didn't know. The only thing she knew was that regardless of all his betrayal her heart still beat for him. And her heart beat would only calm down to the sound of his voice telling her he was safe and sound.

_The bed's getting cold and you're not here  
__The future that we hold is so unclear  
__But I'm not alive until you call  
__And I'll bet the odds against it all_

She starred at the wall next to their bed and she could swear she was able to hear her mother's voice in her head. _Leave him, Melody. He isn't worth those tears. I told your father he was bad news. But he insisted on introducing you two. I warned you, Melody. I know you like Tammy Wynnete but you don't have to stand by your man. _

"You wouldn't get it, mom" she whispered to herself knowing well what her mother's advice would be and which vicious words she'd chose to describe Fitzgerald. But just like so many times before it'd all be words lost in the wind.

_Save your advice 'cause I won't hear  
__You might be right but I don't care  
__There's a million reasons why I should give you up  
__But the heart wants what it wants_

She knew her mother was right. There had been so many times in which he'd torn her down. Not just by cheating on her. But especially the words he had thrown at her. "Yo_u're ornamental, not functional" _still made her cringe. She would only ask one thing from him and not even that he had been able to do. Be there for her.

But he was always gone. With her.

He'd always step in. For her.

His words were always nice. If they were about her.

His mind was always wandering. About her.

_You got me scattered in pieces  
__Shining like stars and screaming_

They were doomed and she knew it to be true. His love was long gone. They would never have the happy ending they once dreamed of having. He wouldn't stand by her side until her hair was all gray and she had wrinkles in her face. No, he wouldn't hold her hand on the front porch of their California home. No, he wouldn't sit next to her as their grandchildren played ball in the back yard.

_This is a modern fairytale  
__No happy endings  
__No wind in our sails  
__But I can't imagine a life without  
__Breathless moments  
__Breaking me down_

The tears started falling without her even noticing. Her heart was broken, shattered. And she knew the pieces would never fit back together again. But her shattered, cold broken heart still beat for him. It still held love for the man with blue eyes. She still got lost in them. Although she felt herself drowning in the middle of the ocean with no one to rescue her.

But the heart wants what it wants.

* * *

Inspired by _The Heart Wants What It Wants _by Selena Gomez.


	7. Girl Crush

**07 | Girl Crush**

Every time she would see her, Mellie's heart would rush. She hated to admit it but her smile gave her butterflies. Olivia Pope made Mellie Grant blush.

_I got a girl crush, hate to admit it but  
__I got a heart rush, ain__'__t slowin__' __down_

She tried to deny it until the day the truth was too much to bare it. But she would never tell her husband. For all the words he had thrown at her, crazy was one she didn't want to add to the list. But what would hurt the most would be his laugh. The crazy laugh he'd give her would break her more than any word he would throw at her.

And she would never tell her too.

She would call her crazy too.

And maybe she was.

But she had a girl crush on her. She wanted everything she had, especially the midnight laughs she'd given him.

_I got it real bad, want everything she has  
__That smile and the midnight laugh she__'__s givin__' __you now_

She wished she could taste her soft lips.

Because they'd taste like the whiskey he likes to drink. They'd taste like everything she missed about him. They'd taste like the love she was holding on for so long. They'd taste like old memories. They'd taste like a different time. They'd be like a memory from the past. Because her lips would taste like him.

She wished she could drown in a bottle of her perfume.

Because if maybe she'd smell just like her… if her rose perfume would be spread all over her bed… then maybe he would lay down with her. Maybe his arms would reach for her in the middle of the night. Because maybe if she'd drown in her perfume then his hands would never leave her skin. And his kisses would be her good morning wish. Because if she'd smell like her then maybe he'd be hers once again.

_I wanna taste her lips, yeah, __'__cause they taste like you  
__I wanna drown myself in a bottle of her perfume_

It was the same thing all night every night.

Pictures of her would invade her mind. Her lips were on him. Her body was underneath his bed sheets. His arms were wrapped around her and her skin would tremble with his touch. She couldn't get any sleep and she couldn't get any peace. Because every time she'd close her eyes she was there in her mind whispering soft words to his ears. Moaning with his touch. Shivering beneath him. Because every time she'd close her eyes she would see her under his bed sheets pulling him in.

_I don'__t get no sleep, I don__'__t get no peace  
__Thinkin__' __about her under your bed sheets  
__The way that she__'__s whisperin__'__, the way that she__'__s pullin__' __you in_

Mellie Grant had a girl crush on Olivia Pope. She would never admit to anyone. Because it was the most strange form of jealousy she had ever felt. But here she was staring at her wishing she could taste her lips (because maybe they'd taste like him), steal her perfume (because maybe he'd go back to her arms)

She had a girl crush on her.

Because then maybe he would have a crush on her.

* * *

Inspired by _Girl Crush_ by Little Big Town


End file.
